say hi to is it real?

circle glasses
and awkward glances
the sweat under my eyes
the scent behind your ears

the polish on my nails
the sheen on your hair
makes me want to see
just how bright we could be

but there was never a we to begin with
i don't why i insist on making love poems
for someone i haven't met yet
can my expectation of you
not actually be you?

i don't mean to sound pretentious
but i want to hear lazy music
as i take my time being tragic

start with colors
they never seem to go wrong
my memory is hazy
but never when i imagine your face

so now tell me who you are
or what time in my life we'll meet
because i can't stand looking at another mirror
and seeing a face that does not
resemble my soul

will you laugh
once we finally meet
and say that i never needed you
that what i wanted was to not
be filled with dark lavender bruises
sticking out of my spine

but my dear boy
did you not realize that

i have already known?