What a time to be alive

I just woke up from a nap and it's raining outside. I've had this blog for 6 years and a month ago I decided to delete everything and start anew. It's going to be very different from my previous blogging and it's good. I'm starting to learn that change is good. It's the only constant thing in the world. So I'm trying to change my older view on things and start enjoying life for what it is.

This morning, as I was on my way to my first class, I realized something very important. I've been in a bad mood and stuck in a rut for the past few days, weeks, months and quite frankly, I'm tired of everything. I'm tired of how I always look for a reason to feel bad. It's like I don't even think I deserve to be happy which is completely untrue. I deserve to be happy. I deserve to get the best out of my life, I deserve to have what I have and most of all, I deserve to love myself.

So I have realized one thing as the guard checked my back. I was on Tumblr until 3am last night and I couldn't get this quote by Charles Bukowski out of my head. He wrote that life's as kind as you let it be. What a statement. It was so simple and so right that it couldn't be wrong. Why was I looking for reasons to make myself feel worse when I can feel good about myself and my life?

That was the moment I decided to get out of the cage I've made for myself and break free of everything that I thought I should feel, look, and act. I smiled at people and I laughed at myself when I made a mistake instead of feeling bad and mulling over where it went wrong. It feels so good to be kind to myself that in return, life is being so kind to me. It's wonderful. It's liberating.. It's beautiful. What a time to be alive!

Everything went according to life's plan after that. Everything went smoothly and I feel like I get a free do over in my life and it feels great. I shouldn't take myself so seriously because it's my life after all and I am entitled to some mistakes. It's better to stop wasting my time worrying about anything and everything and instead start living it.

That was my aha moment this morning. I hope you feel good about yourself and love life for what it has many yet to offer. But if not, it's never to late to change isn't it?

-Candy

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