say hi to cut
On Sunday, November 3, 2013
by
Candy Monster
-
Book,
Depression,
Diary,
journal,
Milan Kundera,
The Unbearable Lightness of Being,
Thoughts
bought new sunglasses
the type where you can cry
and no one would know
i walked around my old school
and cut myself deep just to see
if anything comes out
the bright red trickled down into my palm
as i kept walking while my tears fell
i brought my hand up into the sky
and licked my wound just to see how it tastes like
it tastes like iron and loneliness
like metallic rust on an old volkswagen bumper
left out in the rain
i went back to the convenience store
where me and my friends would go
when we were still in highschool
when we were still in highschool
i bought fresh milk
and drank fresh tears
with the sleeping cat beside me
a punk boy sat beside me
but i was too engrossed in my book
or atleast i was pretending to
i don't want to interact with anyone
when im not stable enough
for fear that they'd find me crazy
he left with his motorcycle
my mother called
she's with dad travelling somewhere
and asked how am i
i pretended to sound cheerful
and said i was fine
as the tears fell from my eyes
it's hard
it's hard
it's hard
i don't know what will happen to me
today,
tomorrow
i'm not even sure if i'll be around long enough
to get a cup of coffee next week
i feel like im going to snap any second
i feel strained and tired and useless
the thread that's holding my sanity is about to break
whatever happens, happens
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